[Definition: the voice inside your head that you keep quiet. Your inner bitch is the one who has your back at all times and will not allow low self esteem, negativity or self-sabotage to stand in her way. She is NOT AFRAID to stand up for herself and say what is needed to be said]

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of us are just too nice. We put up with snide remarks, passive putdowns, snubs and jealousy dressed up as advice. We need to stop biting our lips, after all we are supposed to be grown ups and sometimes well, nice is just goddamn passé.

Whether its been the insecure, sabotaging female bosses (#metoobaby #metoo #ustoo) or the jealous ‘friend’ who can’t handle your success and happiness, competitive mum or even a stranger, we need to learn to answer back. The inner bitch is the voice inside who will make them be held to account. She is your secret best friend, your protector and your defender.

So, if you are bored of being ‘nice’ but have not known how to unleash your inner bitch, this is for you.

P.S. Just remember though not to confuse unleashing your inner bitch with being a bitch. The former is good for your self-esteem, the latter is just self-destructive.

P.P.S Remember to put her back in her box afterwards – she is only allowed out on special occasions …

Here are 5 ways to unleash  your inner bitch

Name Her

Ours are called Margo and Meryl (a la The Devil Wears Prada), and we usually ask their advice  (and each other) when we are in a difficult predicament. This helps you get out of your normal state of self and see your situation from someone else’s point of view. This is important. If Margo or Meryl need to be unleashed, then out they come.

Say it as it is

Your inner bitch wants you to speak your truth. She wants you to talk, answer back and say how you feel. If someone puts you down or dismisses you, then remember that you deserve to be heard and have a voice. If someone offends you purposely then do not hold back. That is not to say be unkind but sometimes you need to say it as it is. “That’s very offensive” or “I didn’t actually ask your opinion” can be effective as putting them on the spot  “What are you trying to say?”

Never Explain

Gossip has it that Johnny Depp gave this very advice to Kate when she first became famous and many put her career longevity down to her excellent execution of it. We always feel the need to explain ourselves and frequently tie ourselves in knots trying to make other people feel better by withholding what. YOU DON’T HAVE TO EXPLAIN OR JUSTIFY YOUR DECISIONS TO ANYONE (well apart from at work your boss or maybe a judge if you have been very naughty but you know what we mean).

Sack the ‘good girl’

In the old world we have been taught to suppress our ‘bitchiness’. You were either a ‘good girl’ or ‘difficult’ aka a bitch. Well, guess what, the two are not mutually exclusive . Make your point, answer back. Sometimes we need to sass. Listen to your inner bitch and moderate her into a more polite form. If you need to, add a touch of humour or sarcasm to get your point across.

Silence is Queen

They also say if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all. Sometimes no answer is the best answer. It can speak volumes. Disapproving, unapologetic silence. Oh and tilt your head for better affect. Or get a nice eye roll in there.

So ladies, join us when we say we’re not going to be afraid of our inner bitchiness.